dream vs reality

Be it a perspective that I have or it is just a reality, people are the most difficult to go through.

In my dreams, University, is somewhere there I could feel the freedom of being myself. It will be a wonderful place that full of inspired people. It will be a place that allocated with many types of challenge and enhancing improvements moments.

But, all I see in this university, is most of the unhappy moments that I never thought of. The people here, the workloads, are just a bizarre to me. There are no such things call good friends not even to mention soul friends. I wonder, does it really relate to how long have you been through with friends to define how good they are? Friends around uni, there are no one like those in secondary or high school, that being your side all the moment you go through. All are just staying around with you when you are joyful but turn into their backs when you are suffered. How could be in this state? Maybe, only here, the private institution that mould this culture.

The materialization and the point of view how realistic the world is, define how people are surrounded and attempted. I, always nearly get to fall into the traps. I, always nearly lost my own personality and the cheerful me. The temptations around here are real true evil. Sometimes, I almost lost my own direction of why I am being here! A lot of moments, I have to learn to be alone to address every issues I'm facing on. It is not there are no one to rely on, but WHO is the one I could have here? To be honest, I'm scared. Scared of trusting someone that I shall not believe in. The mask on the faces are drew nicely with a perfect skills. What will it be when the paints are cleaned off? I would never imagine of that. So, I'm all time aware of the friends around.

However, never to admit, there still friends that are nice around, and there ain't much of them. How could you imagine that for a batch of 150++ students, how many of them you are going to be close with them? My own gang, original one, has around 8 of them. But, I am not all familiar and able to hang around. Just only particular few of them. And, I move on to other gang, a smaller one, consist of 4 of us, where I'm much comfortable with them. =) We get along well, we are always in the crazy mode when we tied together, being in the group assignments time or tutorial time, we just enjoy every single moment. That's what I meant how I actually dream of University people. But it ends up just only a little piece in life.

This semester is gonna be my last semester for 1st year. I've learnt a lot through out the year besides the real dark side. I've came to know more how the world looks like, how the business is run, how the society is socialised, how people surround act to each others, and how little am I standing in this earth.

I've joined few societies. Again, somehow alone to join. I want my university life to interesting and wonderful. But, friends around are like more passive to activities, no why? Anyway, I just managed to get a position in Sunway Volunteer Society, Head of Department of Health. The title sounds so cool! Before I stepped in for the 1st meeting, I always thought boastfully about myself and how great am I in leadership. But guess what, I felt I am so TINY in the committee. Those ahead me are so better and encouraging than me! They have great dreams and visions in their heart! They are so committed to the society and really GREAT! From there, I realised, what I did in the pass in Form 6 was just nothing. It is not a damn great achievements! Now what the society running is real true events, those that done purely by the power of students! We are there to guide ourselves down the road, success or failure, we gotta bear it ourselves.

I would say thanks to GOD for His arrangements. Yes, life in this city is real tough and evil because of the surroundings and temptations out there. But, He has placed few good arrangements to help me understand how the world is, at the same time, never lost myself by placing 'angels' around to guide me. I've always been unreasonable and blaming why for every single moves that goes wrong! I've now came to understand, God has His own will on my life, and shall let His will be done!

Nevertheless, I am still anticipating the change of life in my university that could crave a much better me and overcome my weaknesses.

曾经

时分：01：42AM
日期：2012年2月8日

这一天，不怎么特别。只是突然起伏的心情牵着我回来这里。看着那空白的部落，心里不禁揪了起来。怎么我荒废了它？

也有一段日子，我曾经是多么的爱部落、写文章、逛论坛。现在呢？都感觉好疏远了。连文字也不如以前的优美了，变陌生了。也该说这都是我中五后没修华文的结果吧？

好想念。

偶尔的懒散、放肆，带来的欢乐是多么的难忘。偶尔的窝在那小房间里，反复着阅读那收集品，再来回想那甜美的回忆，真是值得怀念啊！

我喜欢。

摄影，我曾经对它毫无感情，就算我早年就拥有了一架DSLR。因为，那毕竟不属于我的东西，所以总是那么不珍惜。我总是躲躲藏藏地使用它。渐渐地，我才发现这物品越来越派上场用了。我就从中六的生涯里渐渐爱上了它。也因为它，没有了足够的功夫，我也能把许多美丽的时刻给留住了。不同的时刻，不同的角度，不同的景物，不同的表情，就在那时被那明锐的镜头给捕抓了。那一秒就这样被冻结让我们好好地回忆着。

我……

好想……好想……回到过去。

随着年龄的增长，顾虑的东西也越来越多，胆子也越来越小。为什么？就因为知道，更明白凡事都要自己负起责任了吗？就在过几年，就没有了那时间去疯狂了。好想好想让时间就那么停留着，给我玩够了在继续正职好吗？

我想延续那冲动的青春。

2012 resolutions

Here come the year, 2012, the prophet about end of world. LOLx.

For this year, a brand new year, I would pray for everything to be fine and I would want to live better than the past.

My new year resolutions

I want to be slimmer, better looking and more healthy!



I want to continue my degree as a scholar of Sunway till I finish it, which means for my average I have to maintain above 70% each year.



I want to have better knowledge in IT and the business world especially in those property and bank stuff.



If AIESEC anyhow has established in Sunway, I will want to have a position in the management level. Maybe other society too, eg: SVS, BIS, ACS and etc.



Not to forget for everything that I have now, I will praise Lord Jesus and glorify His name. As I understand without God, I am just nothing.



Try to improve for better from time to time.



Be more patient and not that narrow-minded and preoccupied. Turn to have better temper too!



Improve my communication skills and languages!

For now, that's how much I wish to change. I do hope for everything I could do it. Wish me luck then.

我想，我老了。

這，被荒廢了。

好久……我終于記得它了。

怎么……只有在心情不怎么好時，才記起呢……悲哀……

都什么時候了，那眼睛，那腦袋就是不怎么想休息。從剛剛的12時至現在的3時30分，我已經斷斷續續地醒了好幾次，是好幾次。是我壓力過度嗎？怎么就睡不好？

大學了。眨眼間，我上大學了。我也離開了小小的年紀，來到了2字頭。起步。

想想，好懷念。就懷念《那些年》—我的青春。

好想念你們。想念那瘋狂的時候，雖然不多，但就值得回憶的那么多。

什么時候，我們可以再聚？

什么時候，我們可以坐著時光機，回到了當年，好好地悉數我們年少的趣事。

唉……老啦……

嘆息著每天緊繃的生活。

明白著做人的道理。
為自己的將來奮斗。

我想，做好自己。

我想，一毛都不用給地讀完我這3年大學。

我想，證明我不是笨蛋。

我想，做個有出息的人。

我想，偶爾地成熟，也有時地幼稚幾下。

夜了，腦子也廢了些。

還是……回到現實吧！

睡了？

重新

拍拍桌面上的灰塵，打掃周圍，整理一下心情。

我再次地重游此地。