Be it a perspective that I have or it is just a reality, people are the most difficult to go through.
In my dreams, University, is somewhere there I could feel the freedom of being myself. It will be a wonderful place that full of inspired people. It will be a place that allocated with many types of challenge and enhancing improvements moments.
But, all I see in this university, is most of the unhappy moments that I never thought of. The people here, the workloads, are just a bizarre to me. There are no such things call good friends not even to mention soul friends. I wonder, does it really relate to how long have you been through with friends to define how good they are? Friends around uni, there are no one like those in secondary or high school, that being your side all the moment you go through. All are just staying around with you when you are joyful but turn into their backs when you are suffered. How could be in this state? Maybe, only here, the private institution that mould this culture.
The materialization and the point of view how realistic the world is, define how people are surrounded and attempted. I, always nearly get to fall into the traps. I, always nearly lost my own personality and the cheerful me. The temptations around here are real true evil. Sometimes, I almost lost my own direction of why I am being here! A lot of moments, I have to learn to be alone to address every issues I'm facing on. It is not there are no one to rely on, but WHO is the one I could have here? To be honest, I'm scared. Scared of trusting someone that I shall not believe in. The mask on the faces are drew nicely with a perfect skills. What will it be when the paints are cleaned off? I would never imagine of that. So, I'm all time aware of the friends around.
However, never to admit, there still friends that are nice around, and there ain't much of them. How could you imagine that for a batch of 150++ students, how many of them you are going to be close with them? My own gang, original one, has around 8 of them. But, I am not all familiar and able to hang around. Just only particular few of them. And, I move on to other gang, a smaller one, consist of 4 of us, where I'm much comfortable with them. =) We get along well, we are always in the crazy mode when we tied together, being in the group assignments time or tutorial time, we just enjoy every single moment. That's what I meant how I actually dream of University people. But it ends up just only a little piece in life.
This semester is gonna be my last semester for 1st year. I've learnt a lot through out the year besides the real dark side. I've came to know more how the world looks like, how the business is run, how the society is socialised, how people surround act to each others, and how little am I standing in this earth.
I've joined few societies. Again, somehow alone to join. I want my university life to interesting and wonderful. But, friends around are like more passive to activities, no why? Anyway, I just managed to get a position in Sunway Volunteer Society, Head of Department of Health. The title sounds so cool! Before I stepped in for the 1st meeting, I always thought boastfully about myself and how great am I in leadership. But guess what, I felt I am so TINY in the committee. Those ahead me are so better and encouraging than me! They have great dreams and visions in their heart! They are so committed to the society and really GREAT! From there, I realised, what I did in the pass in Form 6 was just nothing. It is not a damn great achievements! Now what the society running is real true events, those that done purely by the power of students! We are there to guide ourselves down the road, success or failure, we gotta bear it ourselves.
I would say thanks to GOD for His arrangements. Yes, life in this city is real tough and evil because of the surroundings and temptations out there. But, He has placed few good arrangements to help me understand how the world is, at the same time, never lost myself by placing 'angels' around to guide me. I've always been unreasonable and blaming why for every single moves that goes wrong! I've now came to understand, God has His own will on my life, and shall let His will be done!
Nevertheless, I am still anticipating the change of life in my university that could crave a much better me and overcome my weaknesses.
No comments:
Post a Comment